An Authentic Discussion On Loving Those Who’ve Done Us Harm

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

“Love . . . thinks no evil” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

IDEA: We can deal with hurts done to us by turning them over to God.

PURPOSE: To help listeners turn hurts over to God.

We often hear people say, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget!”

John F. Kennedy once said, “Forgive your enemies, but always remember their names.”

I. But Paul said, “Love doesn’t keep a record of the wrongs done to it” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Some people deliberately keep a record of those who have slighted them.

For example, a young woman showed me a notebook in which she wrote down everything that she disliked about her mother-in-law. It was a large notebook. She said she didn’t want to forget them.

Some people have difficulty forgetting, though they know they should.

How do you forgive and forget?

II. Leave the matter in the hands of God.

Realize that it does you no good to keep going over the offense in your mind. If someone deliberately hurt you, then this hurts you a second time.

Deal with the hurt. Go to the person and tell him/her what you feel. If that doesn’t work, or can’t be done:

Turn the matter over to God. Let Him become the bill collector:

“ ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’, says the Lord” (Deuteronomy 32:25; Romans 12:19).

God knows what has been done and why. Consciously and deliberately turn the matter over to Him.

Write it on a slip of paper and burn it.

Imagine holding the matter in your hands and giving it to God.

Pray for your enemy and those who have misused you.

Matthew 5:43-48 reminds us that we are never more like God than when we pray for those who have hurt us. It may be difficult to do, but it is healthier than praying against an enemy. Then all you do is keep going over the offense.

Love doesn’t keep a record of the wrongs done against it. It takes an act of your will and a set of your mind, but you can do it.


Categories: Forgiveness Of, Love For, Relating To Others, Relationships

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